Vermont Town Elects Goat As Mayor

The residents of Fair Haven, Vermont have elected a new Mayor, and I'm sure there are Masons involved in this story somehow. Or at least Odd Fellows.

Fair Haven is a town of about 2,700 along the border with New York, just southeast of Ticonderoga, if you know where that is. The town doesn't actually have an administrative position of mayor, per se. But they do elect an honorary mayor to do things like march in parades and be an ambassador for visitors and such. It is a one-year position, and Hizzoner will be officially installed this coming Tuesday.

This year's honorary Mayor is named Lincoln. He is a three-year old Nubian goat.

It was a close race. Mr. Lincoln won with 13 votes, squeaking past Sammie the dog with 10. The other candidates combined for a total of 30.

The saavy candidate kissing hands and shaking babies.

During his term of office, Mayor Lincoln will be expected to attend a variety of local events, beginning with the Memorial Day Parade in May. He will be festooned with a custom made ceremonial sash.

The candidate — shockingly — is not married, but cohabitates with a black nanny goat named Lucy, who was unavailable for comment. The press has prudently agreed to keep coverage of their barnyard relationship to a minimum.

According to the Associated Press:

Town Manager Joseph Gunter said he heard about a small town in northern Michigan trying something similar and he thought it would be a good way to raise money for a local playground. It only raised about $100 through a $5 entry fee, but it provided other benefits.

“It was a great way to introduce the elementary school kids to local government,” he said.

The balloting for pet mayor was held alongside the regular Town Meeting Day vote, but any town resident could vote.

There is no mention as to Mr. Lincoln's possible fraternal affiliations. However, Eureka Lodge 75 is on Main Street and was chartered in 1867. And earlier Masons have been at work in the town since 1810. Morning Star Mark Lodge No. 4 first convened in that year (defunct), and Fair Haven residents were also members of nearby Aurora Mark Lodge No. 2 in 1797 (also defunct). So you know Freemasons rigged this election. Don't kid an old kidder.

At the conclusion of Mr. Lincoln's one-year term, I'm just hoping some shrewd huckster comes up with a new Main Street attraction. Like this for instance...

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UPDATE:

I've caught some flack for perpetuating the Masonic goat business. Yes, it's juvenile. Yes, I wish that Masons wouldn't haze new candidates with goat stories. But honestly, as moronic Masonic myths go, this is a pretty minor irritant. And mostly harmless. It's also a longstanding one, with a - dare I say it - long-bearded pedigree.

I would like to call attention to the former Methodist Church and Masonic Lodge in Dundee, Kentucky, the historic 1902 home of Dundee Lodge 733 (now defunct). Sometimes called 'The Goat Building.' For more than a century, perched high atop the steeple has been this very special weather vane.

Just sayin'.