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| L-R: Bro. Salman S. Sheikh, GM S. Eugene Herritt and Bro. Mohammed AlJumaili |
Grand masters and grand lodges—at least in the Anglo-American Masonic world—are continually obsessing over bringing new members into our lodges. Year after year, they nervously await the latest figures on membership statistics, and go out and try to put on a positive face when it drops another 5%, leaving the U.S. fraternity at levels we had prior to World War I.
If I see one more editorial about "Appealing to Millennials," I'm going to start drinking again.
The truth that no one wants to face in Freemasonry is that we get plenty of new members every year. Plenty. But an enormous percentage of these fresh, eager new Freemasons are initiated, passed and raised, attend our business meetings, mingle with our members, see a couple of more degrees, maybe read a handful of books... and then they leave, in less than two years, on average. That is failure at the local lodge level. No grand master or grand lodge drives away new Masons by the barrel-full. Individual Masons and lodges do that all on their own. Why do they leave in such huge numbers? We apparently don't seem to give a particular damn as an institution, since we almost never ask them.
We have no business bringing another man into this fraternity until our own existing members learn to love it and live its teachings so much that new Masons won't leave as fast as they joined.
Case in point: Fred put up a long essay by a young man who joined a lodge, believing what we claim about ourselves. Brother Salman S. Sheikh is a young Sufi Muslim man, and he joined a lodge at age 24, eagerly wanting to learn all he could about our philosophy and our symbolism, and wanting to truly be a part of that legendary brotherhood we like to call ourselves. He bought into all of the lofty pronouncements of Masonry being about meeting "on the level," about tolerance and brotherhood, about our mission to enlighten our own members, about the constant search for "more light in Masonry." He didn't make anything up in his head, he simply believed what Freemasons say about ourselves.
And he left after two years. He demitted because he encountered "bigotry, ignorance, and the total opposite of what a Mason really is."
Brother Sheikh tells his own story in his own words, so I won't paraphrase him. Please read his whole essay, "Why I Left Freemasonry: The First And Last In My Family To Do So." And then take a good, hard look at your lodge, your own words, and your own behavior, in real life, and especially online in what has become anti-social media these days. If you or the members of your lodge are actively engaging in un-Masonic conduct, in person or online, there are consequences for that. When you discourage excited Masons who are eager to study and explore the more esoteric teachings of the fraternity, there are consequences for that.
When Masons leave, the worst thing we can do is to not ask them why, and at least see if we can change conditions to prevent it in future. Brother Sheikh did us a favor by explaining his reasons in print, and offering up his own conclusions about it:
Why would he have stayed?
The letter and Fred Milliken's commentary on it can be found HERE: "Masonic Anti-Intellectualism A Crying Shame"
UPDATE 11/12/2018:
And then there's the flip side.
A very good friend and Past Grand Master is very fond of quoting Cassius speaking to Brutus in Julius Caesar: “The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in ourselves..."
Yesterday Fred posted a follow up story to this one, and I urge everyone to read it as well. It's by a Brother who also decided to leave, because he too felt let down by the fraternity and what he saw as its shortcomings. And then he realized that perhaps the problem was really his own expectations when he joined.
And then he came back.
When Masons leave, the worst thing we can do is to not ask them why, and at least see if we can change conditions to prevent it in future. Brother Sheikh did us a favor by explaining his reasons in print, and offering up his own conclusions about it:
"My last advice to the Freemasons is that if you want this to continue to survive in a future where the young ones are keen with artificial intelligence and info at the palm of their hands, then you need to offer them something new that hasn’t been shown to them before. The practice of memorizing sacred texts, being on a chair/committee, contributing to charity is something that can be found in every church, synagogue and mosque throughout America. The real question is, what are you willing to help them realize in an environment where relationships, family, jobs, spirituality is on a totally different playing field then our previous generations? Once this question is addressed along with letting in clean hearted quality people, then we won’t hear the same tune every month of why the same 6-7 guys are showing in a lodge with 4-500 members. It’s a simple solution which if followed can be beneficial to the organization along with not showing them the same stuff every meeting and not letting Past Masters run their lodges. Give the new guys a chance, otherwise they will just see it as another boy’s club and move on with other adventures in life that could benefit them more. It’s a shame for me to say this but I learned more on my own and with likeminded spiritual people I had met before I even became a Mason than I have ever learned in a lodge or appendant body. That should not be the case."I was engaged in a heated discussion last week with a Brother online. When I brought up the scary statistic of the number of new Masons who depart the fraternity in under two years, he actually responded, "Who needs a bunch of half hearted seekers of knowledge? Let them leave!" Brother Sheikh wasn't half-hearted. He truly WAS seeking knowledge - he hunted it, he begged for it, just as he had wanted real brotherhood. He tried to study it, research it, talk about it. He was excited. Instead, he found a hollow shell of what he was promised. And he encountered a clot of Masons who ignored their obligations and went right on publicly engaging in boorish behavior that was deliberately insulting, repugnant, and un-Masonic.
Why would he have stayed?
Brother Sheikh hadn't joined some isolated rural lodge, or in a jurisdiction that some have looked down on as backward. He was in suburban Philadelphia, right in the East Coast region that likes to tout itself as more 'cosmopolitan' than the residents of flyover country, or the rural South, or the cornfield states that begin with "I." No, this problem is endemic, and we're lying as long as we point our fingers somewhere else and claim "It's those OTHER guys." And the Internet only makes the problem worse, because what a Mason says or does five states or a half a continent away still pops up every day online. After two years, Brother Sheikh decided that looking for another lodge wasn't the answer, because the un-Masonic behavior was too widespread.
That's a broad brush, I know. But it is also reality, if enough people believe it.
That's a broad brush, I know. But it is also reality, if enough people believe it.
Last year the Grand Lodge of Massachusetts did video interviews of several men who had joined a lodge and had demitted relatively quickly. Massachusetts did what almost no other jurisdiction has ever bothered to do: They asked WHY. And recorded the answers. If you are a grand officer or a district deputy or a membership committee member in another jurisdiction, do yourself a favor and contact Massachusetts to see a copy of it. And actually listen to what these men are saying about the fraternity they joined with such eagerness, and then left. Almost all of them regarded their decision to leave as a sad and tragic situation—they had been eager to join, and left only reluctantly. You all need to know why, and get your lodges to make some serious course corrections. Or encourage the creation of new lodges that understand.
Brother Sheikh's message makes it clear that he is looking for - and finding - what he sought in other places now. He sums up by saying:
"In conclusion, I am thankful for these last 2 years for what they were worth to make a difference in the organization of Freemasons in my state, country, and other nations to teach them the forgotten values of a true Mason and the true nature of one who listens to his heart and walks the path of God. I departed at age 26 in good standing and still have a lifetime ahead of me to do great things for other groups that are meant to cross my path. I am thankful to be the first in GL of PA’s history to do a program on Sufism and make the effort to bring Masonic understanding and unity while others are just worried about their legacies. My greatest legacy will be that I will remain in the hearts and minds of the Freemasons forever and that means I also live forever which is more important than statues or my name appearing in Grand Lodge digest decisions. Please continue to love each other in and out of lodge and practice what you preach because God’s all-seeing eye will hold us all accountable one day for all our seen and unseen actions. Before your meetings start, do a hand in hand meditation so even the brother who feels left out can feel a part of his brotherhood instead of looking bored or playing on his phone. I want you all to think about all these things I have addressed in my final message and I leave that burden on your shoulders from this point on with the mission of how you will carry this fraternity forward for future generations and not be in a desperate situation to keep numbers up. When your heart, mission, members, teachings, online image, etc. is all pure and designed to empower somebody then worrying about numbers should be the least of your worries because at the end 'My Faith is in God and God is my right.'"
There's an old saying that "You are someone's image of Freemasonry." Every one of us needs to take that to heart. I wish I had gotten the opportunity to meet Brother Sheikh before he demitted, because he understood that.
As long we as have members who say of our own Brethren who depart, "Let them leave," we will continue to shrink and fade.
And that is a fate that the fraternity has earned all by itself.
UPDATE 11/12/2018:
And then there's the flip side.
A very good friend and Past Grand Master is very fond of quoting Cassius speaking to Brutus in Julius Caesar: “The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in ourselves..."
Yesterday Fred posted a follow up story to this one, and I urge everyone to read it as well. It's by a Brother who also decided to leave, because he too felt let down by the fraternity and what he saw as its shortcomings. And then he realized that perhaps the problem was really his own expectations when he joined.
And then he came back.
It was this shift in my perspective that lead me to realize that Freemasonry still had a great deal to offer, but only if I was willing to seize it. I was fortunate in the fact that I came to this realization on my own. I fear that few brothers in my shoes will do the same. Therefore, it is up to us to ensure that it never gets to that point in the first place...See Bait & Switch, I Quit or Why I Left - Part 2 HERE.
