Jonathan Coulton's "I'm A Mason Now"

The things you find when you go trolling for Masonic topics.

Friend and brother Mike Walkup passed along a sound clip of a song by Jonathan Coulton, called "I'm A Mason Now."


You used to laugh at me when I drove a Shriner’s car
You said it’d never fly that I’d never get this far
I always knew that I would make it someday
Now you’d be safer staying out of my way

Cause guess what I’m a Mason now
And you better take care if you want to stay
On the good side of the guy who’s
Got the secret handshake down

You think you’re pretty bad with your pretty trophy wife
You drive a pretty car through your polo trophy life
I got a robe and a pretty nice ring
You bet that brotherhood’s a wonderful thing

Guess what I’m a Mason now
And you better take care if you want to stay
On the good side of the guy who’s
Got the secret handshake down

Should we talk about the governments that I control?
Should we talk about the hands of fate, the dice they roll?
The secret things you’ll never see?
The secret man you’ll never be?
The secret rooms that have no windows?

Too late to make amends cause the wheel’s in motion now
So get up off your knees, try to carry on somehow
You can’t escape it so you better not try
Now there’s some friends of mine who’d like to say hi

Guess what I’m a Mason now
And you better take care if you want to stay
On the good side of the guy who’s
Got the secret handshake down

Coulton became *famous* on da intertubes for his "Thing A Week" podcasts, writing a new song every week for a year. His bio says, "Coulton's is the voice of every spooky elementary school kid who could never quite keep his shirt tucked in or shoes tied; every lovelorn mason and mad scientist; every one of us who has ever sat despairingly on the floor, surrounded by parts of an Ikea endtable, weeping over our allen wrenches." He lives in Colchester, Connecticut.

(Image from Smoking Monkey)